There I was in 4th place of the Marine Corps Marathon through the halfway point in a time of 1:14:15.

I was on my way to running a personal best and coming close to achieving a couple goals.

That’s where the good news ends.

This is where the bad news begins.

But then, just like that, my dreams slowly started slipping away mile after mile after mile.

I tried hanging on.

I told myself even if I had a few bad miles I could recover and pick it up and finish strong.

But I couldn’t hold on.

I just didn’t have much left to give.

I was hurting.

I wanted to quit.

It’s discouraging and disappointing coming up short.

But at least I can say I tried.

I went for it.

I went for it fearlessly with guts and courage.

I went out hard.

I put myself out there.

I laid it on the line.

I emptied the tank.

I gave myself a chance.

And I’d rather be let down than not try.

Anybody who knows marathon running knows the best way to race is to run a relatively consistent first and second half.

I ran the second half in 1:25:22.

So basically what I’m trying to say is I imploded and was hanging on for dear life.

That’s not how you want to run a marathon.

Do I regret it?

Heck no.

I would do it all over again.

I remember a saying from back in the day.

People would say “You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.”

Well that’s how I feel about this.

I wouldn’t have been able to achieve my aggressive goals if I didn’t run my goal pace from the start.

So I say “I can’t run a 2:30 if I don’t go out in 1:15.”

I still believe I’m in better shape than the time I ran.

I still believe I can run the times I’ve been training to run.

But the clock is the judge.

The number was the number.

On the bright side:

I ran my second fastest half marathon time and second fastest marathon time in the same race.

I managed to complete my 7th marathon.

I finished 21st overall out of thousands of runners in a time of 2:39:37 on a challenging course.

In ways I’ve had enough.

But I know I have unfinished business.

And I’ll have a hard time letting it rest until I finish it.