In my late teens and early twenties, I relied heavily on others.
I always needed to be entertained. I always wanted to be with people.
Then my mom died.
I learned what it was like to be abandoned and alone.
I learned that anything and anybody can be taken away from us at any given moment without notice.
I have trust issues. I have commitment issues.
I don’t want to get too attached to anything and anybody. I don’t want to attach my identity to anything and anybody. I don’t want to rely too heavily on anything and anybody.
Because I know it all can be gone in a second.
I learned as all I really have is myself.
We must learn to take care of ourselves and fend for ourselves.
Because no matter what happens, life goes on. We’re still here. We still have to survive.
I was forced to grow up quickly. I learned life is not all fun and games. Bad things happen. Sometimes we have no choice but to be strong. We don’t realize how strong we are until we have no choice.
We can learn and grow from tragedy, trauma, and adversity. There are silver linings if we choose to see them.
I learned how strong I am. I know I can endure pain and suffering. I’m ready for whatever life throws at me. I learned to take care of myself. I show up for myself every single day. I can count on myself. I know I can make it on my own. I will last. I will outlast. I am resilient. I am tough. I am a warrior. I am a beast. I will survive. I am a survivor.
Lastly, I no longer need to be entertained. I don’t need to be with people all of the time. I know what it’s like to be alone. I was alone. Few people were there for me. I know the feeling. I’m comfortable with it. I’m ok alone. I enjoy my own company.